Three Lessons of Leadership That Will Make You a Better Parent: Lesson Two

I hope you enjoyed Friday’s post on the first lesson I learned that has made me a better parent. Lesson One of Accountability is often a tough pill to swallow. Sometimes it’s easier just to “give in” vs. teach the lesson. If you didn’t get a chance to read the Lesson… click here.

One of the replies I received was “Accountability is out of vogue, but critical!” This came from Shawn Kinkade with Aspire KC. If you’re finding it hard to hold yourself accountable to growing your business, or just not sure how to take that next step, call Shawn… he can help you (913) 660-9400 or visit his website at www.aspirekc.com

Moving on to the next lesson...

2. Self-Assess

Lesson #2: Teach them to self-assess at a young age. To be successful in life we have to understand our strengths and opportunities for improvement. Think about your best sales rep. Do they truly understand their strengths and opportunities? As a sales leader, it may be easier dodge the “difficult conversations” and focus only on the positives. Jack Welch says, “once a month give them written feedback… tell them what they’re doing good and also where they have an opportunity for improvement.” If you haven’t read his book “Winning”, I highly recommend it. The bottom line is this: We must be a clear mirror to our people.

Same with parenting… we should always praise our children for what they’re doing great… but bite our tongue if they’re not so great at something. Why would you tell your child they are great at soccer if they aren’t even marginally good? We love our children so much that we often make them narcissistic by constantly showering them with unjust compliments. They don’t understand their strengths and opportunities, because they believe they’re “awesome” at everything. These are the children who grow up to think they never do wrong. This goes hand in hand with accountability. They don’t know how to work hard because they believe they are naturally great at everything. We never challenge them to get better, set higher goals, and allow them fail.

I’m not saying not to shower your child with love and affection… that’s different than telling them they are “awesome”. Instead reward them with praise on “how hard they worked” or that “they really tried hard” or “you were very creative” or “I like how you were a team player”. All these are lessons you can teach at the same time you are giving praise. Try this - next time your child asks you “how did I do?”, instead of replying “AWESOME!”, ask “how do you think you did?”. Make them think…they’re smart kiddos!

REALLY catch them doing something good…then offer the praise. You’ll quickly see the behavior repeated, especially in toddlers.

And always tell them “I love you”. This is unconditional.

For more on how to apply this to your work…check out my blog “How Clear is Your Mirror”.