Conflict Resolution in Seven Steps

As a leader or manager, there will be times when you’ll have to intervene between individuals experiencing conflict. This is when you can prove your worth and earn your pay. Keep the following seven things in mind:

1. What happened matters and what happened before that may matter even more. 
In most cases, the event that brought the disagreement to the forefront was preceded by something that is actually the real cause of the conflict. It’s your job to ask questions and listen to ensure you’re discovering the genesis of the problem.

2. Communication is perception not intent.
When refereeing a situation, you should let each party know that what they may have intended to communicate may have been perceived in a different (often opposite) manner. 

3. Don’t take sides...unless...you determine that one party is wrong...and have the ability to understand this...and will do something about it.
Many books will advise a manager to remain neutral. On the surface this sounds like prudent advice. However, if it’s determined that one of the individuals is clearly wrong or has behaved poorly, you must choose a side. If not, you risk de-motivating the other individual and losing his/her respect and possibly employment.

4. Find out what the parties have in common.
It’s difficult to maintain animosity with someone in which you have things in common. Consider moderating the discussion by first asking the parties what they feel they may have in common with each other. Reiterate the commonalities and reinforce the collective strengths.

5. It’s not who’s right, but what’s right.
Remembering this – and reminding the combatants of it – helps everyone understand that the resolution will be based on the right outcome and that the decision does not make someone wrong.

6. Ask them to compliment the other party.
 Ask each person what the other one is better at than them. This should disarm that person, which makes it more possible for him/her to remain open-minded.  It’s also difficult to maintain a negative edge when someone compliments you.

7. Follow through, but…
Don’t follow through too much. People have to believe they can outlive a mistake. Continually bringing up disagreements creates negativity. In addition, you run the risk of being seen as living in the past or acting like a hero. Nobody wants that. 

Customers form opinions when things go wrong, and employees do the same. How you react in these trying times can solidify your reputation – in one way (positive) or another. You choose.